As I attempt to transform my home into a functional place to raise my children and grow my business (I say this with Legos crashing in the background), I have been reading and thinking alot about how as moms we serve as managers. ( I can’t take credit for this idea, I got it from a lady named Sandra Felton founder of Messies Anonymous). Sandra is right, as parents we have the very important job of managing our households and our children. This endeavor presents challenges that are equal to most that we will encounter in the business world.
A few months ago, in a really awesome issue of Business Week, I encounter an short article that has keep me thinking for several months now. It was entitled “Forwarned is Forearmed: Give Your staff a user’s manual- to you” http://www.businessweek.com/print/magazine/content/08_34/b4097050771261.htm . The article suggests that managers need to come up with a guide to help their employees know everything from their work and communication styles to what they will not tolerate. I thought this was a great idea and wished that I had received a user’s manual to some of my more challenging bosses. Still, I didn’t see how it applied to me a solo entrepreneur.
Today I realized that as a manager for my family and kids, perhaps they would benefit from an User’s Manual to Mom. Here’s my personal user’s manual. It is mainly written with my nine year old in mind.
Mom’s User’s Manual
How I work
If you want me to say yes when you want to do something fun, you will have more success if you are a good citizen in our family. This includes helping out, cleaning up-including your room, and being kind to your brothers and sisters.
My Style
My goal is to be firm, fair, and kind. I may get grouchy sometimes, but I will always love you. I will try hard every day to stay true to my goal. I want to have fun, but not at the expense of the house or other people’s feelings.
When to Approach Me
I do not like to be interrupted!!! If I am talking to another adult, please do not interrupt. You can catch me a soon as I am finished. If it looks like I am working hard on something, please feel free to say, “Mom I need to talk to you about something.” I’ll talk to you or tell you when I will be available. Do not interrupt me while I am putting others to bed. In a few minutes you will have my full attention. Interrupting makes the bedtime process longer so I have less time to spend with you.
Values
I value kindness towards others. I also value time spent together having fun as a family. I value a family where everyone contributes to making the house and life better for each other. I am working towards that goal. I want to raise my kids to be kind, organized, responsible adults. I’m trying hard to be this kind of an adult myself.
Communication
I like it when we can talk in a positive way without name calling, rudeness, or interruption. It is very hard to listen to you after you have said hurtful things to me. I am willing to consider your position whenever possible, but sometimes I will need to say no. If you are rude or fight with me, I will not consider an appeal. If you can use positive words and reasoning to describe what you need, I may change my mind.
What I Will Not Tolerate
I will no longer tolerate you saying hurtful things to me or others. It hurts me too much inside. When you do something that I cannot tolerate I will ask you to stop…please listen! Because we are trying to make a change in our house, there are certain messes that I can no longer tolerate. There may be consequences if you keep making the same kind of mess over and over!
Feedback
I know that I need to work harder on giving you praise when you do something good. This is one of my goals. I will also give you more hugs and kisses. If you see me doing a good job as a mom, please let me know. It is what keeps me going and working hard. If I need you to do something differently I promise to call you over and look you in the eye and check for understanding. I hope that will mean less yelling and misunderstanding.
How to Help Me
I am working on a lot of things right now and can be overwhelmed. Please try to do the jobs you are responsible for (tidying up your room, putting away your clothes, not leaving Legos everywhere). If you want to play with Destiny and Jared do it in a way that is fun and helpful, read a story, play legos or animals, play tag outside. Don’t play in a way that hurts others feelings or destroys the house.
Love Always,
Mom
